How am I still alive after this?

A few years ago, I was shrunk down to an inch tall. This occurred when I used some sort of potion or spell or something like that. Anyway, while shrunk, I fell into a mug that was in my kitchen sink. The mug was washed in the dishwasher and I survived that. After that, my sister ate some ice cream out of the same cup. No surprise, it was impossible for me to escape the cup and thus I was consumed by my sister. I cried when she swallowed me and all the way down to her stomach. When I landed in her stomach, the acids began to burn me. I thought for sure I was dead and the fumes and lack of oxygen caused me to p out. I awoke later in my sister's small intestine miraculously. As my long trip continued, I wasn't digested by my sisters digestive system and I escaped when my sister finally pooped the next day. I was then nearly flushed down the toilet but managed to get into my sister's underpants (the backside that is) I was crushed by her the rest of the day and had to deal with her horrible farts. I finally escaped that and was able to get back to the kitchen where I was trying to get my mothers attention but ended up falling into her cup of beer. My mother began sipping the beer and I was quickly dragged with the current into my mother's huge mouth. I managed not to be swallowed but knew I would be eventually. My mom then let out a huge burp, causing me to fly onto her lap. Finally I was noticed and saved from my nightmare and returned to normal size. Is that a miracle or what? I feel like I shouldn't be alive anyone got a theory as to what might have saved me?